ive been feeling rather disinterested in life these past few weeks...maybe its the letdown from the offsite i finished preparing - which btw went off extremely well! :) or the fact that im just extremely lonely...B and his sister coming here i guess sort of just highlighted the fact that i really am all alone...and altho previously this used to give me a high, now i just feel sad!
So I need a new plan...ive done hostel life; living alone; managing my own expenses; supporting myself for 3 years....and im sort of tired now...i want a change; i think i need a change!
i could go home for a few months once my bond finishes in jul but the idea of that scares me as i will lose the very thing ive been fighting for these past 6 years, my freedom! being back at home, under my mom & dad's rules...i dont know if i have the patience & strength to live with that...of course there are pros to it which is that i get to support mom & dad especially now when they have been rather lonely since my bro left; i get to not worry about anything for a few months...almost like an extended summer vacation!
other options include getting off my ass and actually doing something...look for other jobs, update my cv and see whats on the market out there...of course the very idea of throwing myself on another learning curve is quite terrifying...!
a change in place perhaps?? now i can technically apply for jobs outside sg...maybe look for another place to settle down in asia? but how will i cope with no friends? not like i have thaaat many here who are not replaceable...just that ive never been anywhere where i dint have friends since like 6th grade! and boy i hated being the odd one out then!!
studying? i could finally start studying for gmat and get to applying for MBA skools for the 2011 intake...hmmm...but do i really want to handle studying & working at the same time? i hated it when i was studying for my CFA - i am just not a very dedicated person and one of the two will def suffer!
i don't know what i want...just that i want a change...ive got all these ideas but very less motivation to do anything about any of them! part of me just wants to find the right guy already and get married! even that sounds better than where i am right now!!
so im struggling...trying to find a way out of this enclosure i have no idea when i fell into!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I need a Plan!
About Me
- Sunshine
- A little bit of this & a little bit of that! I'm all sweet n spice! :D
10 comments:
I'm in such a phase right now too. Not exaclty, but kinda. Confused about this and that. Not sure of what I want to do next. Sigh, it's frustrating sometimes.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide to do. Best wishes.
Yes it is - frustrating! *sigh*
Thanks! & Good Luck to you too!
Sunshine, Congrats for finishing off the works in style and coming back to your blog safely :D
Even I’ve gone through this phase many a times in my life. Sometimes when we work hard under heavy pressures and suddenly become free, we tend to become a bit depressed and completely lonely or you can say, we start thinking about what is lacking in our lives.
Taking some lenience as a friend, I’ve something to say here:
Yes going home for a few days and supporting your parents emotionally is a very good idea. In the process you can get a good change for yourself too. This should give you ample time to decide with a free mind whether what you want exactly- Whether you want a job change/whether you want a job in your home town/whether you can study further/whether you want a big break and just spend some time peacefully at home or what ever may be your decision, I suggest you one thing, join some dance classes(as it is you like dancing) or some sports/game training immediately. Trust me it changes a lot from within.
Good Luck and Keep spreading your sunshine in others’ lives :)
Studying is always Fun. Only thing is we need to be patient till we finish it. :)
oh dear!! been there.. wait a min.. still there! and I don't want to sound too..err.. never mind but get out of sg! this place has its own charm but so little of it!! its restricting in a way.. you definitely need to get out of here!
@ Asif: Yep thats the idea for now...need to take some time off to just figure out what i want! the dance classes, etc yes good suggestions...but i need a more drastic change than that...
@ perplexed: lol...well this place is pretty much like my second home and its hard to let go of that...but yes i do think one of the changes would be at least to temporarily leave & then go from there...
@ Asif: btw yd u stop blogging??
Sunshine :), Thanks a lot for the little nudge.
Actually I’m caught up in soo many responsibilities here that I’m not having anytime or rather you can say I’m not having the mood to write anything now. What ever time I’m left with, I’m spending it on reading N leaving comments on various lovely blogs. You see I don’t want to disappoint my friends who spend so much time to write their hearts out. Even for that I’m doing some serious multi-tasking :D.
Hopefully I’ll write something today as I’m a bit free and moreover all my blogger friends are shouting at me :D. It seems they want some fun post from my side. I don’t know whether I can do justice to such things.
By the way don’t you check your blog email ?
@ Asif: lol well now that u have the nudge...go blog soon!
and nooo i dont check my blog email! darn i shud prob change the address on that link...its an old address! i just saw ur email which u sent me like 2 months back! im sooo sorry!!
Yes ! I'll do it today :D
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