You know you don't have control over me. None. I live alone, have been supporting myself for almost 2 years now and take my own decisions. Its the last bit that you cannot stand right? The fact that I can make my own decisions. The fact that I don't deem it necessary to come running back to mommy for every fricking small decision of my life. You cannot stand to lose that control on me. To realize that your favourite adage, "Because I said so!" is not going to work anymore! Thats what terrifies you. So you undercut my plans, force to change my decisions, throw a tantrum, emotionally blackmail me, cause me sleepless nights. I hope you realize that at some point I'm going to stop feeling guilty. Because I havent let you down dammit! I've gone and become a grown-up. An independant woman. Is that why you resent me? Because I've become who you never were?
Im guilty. Because you make me so. Because the blackmail still works. Because I'm sitting here 10 mins before my very important meeting, bawling my eyes out because I hurt you. Haha - I really am brilliant. I'm going to lose everything I've built so very carefully because you cant stop guilting me enough to appreciate what ive done here!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
About Me
- Sunshine
- A little bit of this & a little bit of that! I'm all sweet n spice! :D
8 comments:
Very Rightly said!! Parents shud learn 2 let go. But then I guess every parent goes thru this phase. As an adolescent iT is really irritating. I really Hope uR parents get over this pHase & accept yOu as an ADULT. Good Luck!!
:( hugs to you dear...it can be hard for parents to let go at times. sigh. hugs, take care.
@ Bond: somethings gotta give...either they wake up and realize what they are doing...or i dont know what im going to do...
@ Titaxy: thanks babe...i do understand that it can be hard...but after almost 6 yrs?? out of which 2 yrs ive not even been financially dependant on them...! isnt that enough?
Whenever I see an independent woman talking about her freedom and life-which she is living on her own terms, I feel soo excited and happy. But sadly most of them are in fact not that independent. They are either emotionally dependant on their husbands or their parents. This is a bitter truth.
Yes you are right about your mom making you feel guilty but it is her way of teaching you how to live according to her ways which in fact is outdated now. Even she is right. That is why we call it a Generation Gap.
I appreciate your thinking and what you have achieved. As you are really brilliant, you can actually go ahead with your heart and not hurt her as well.
Yes this is our life and no one can ever control it.
Enjoy !!!
Hey Kiddo, Firstly I hope you`re feeling much better now.
Secondly, listen up very carefully.
What I`m going to say actually makes sense.
1. The older the people get, the dimmer their mental faculties become. So if your parents are 50 years of age, treat them like they`re 15. Get it?
2. Given any individual/thing, one can always find `faults' by looking close enough and long enough. Stop doing it right now. Engage in activities that are more important. And cut your folks some slack. It will often save a lot of mental trouble.
3. Calibrate people well. If you know how one person is expected to behave or react to whatever you do or say, then stop feeling hurt/angry/bitter every time you interact with the person. As per your calibrations, the person in qstn has lived up it - she has behaved exactly as you would have expected her to behave. So quit getting angry!
I try these out every time now and trust me - it really helps!
Lots of love
@ Piper: okay some of that makes a lot of sense since the very people i thought would be happy to see me grow up have regressed back into wanting a kid!
Calibration helps, yes. But I cant help expectations creeping in sometimes that maybe now they will change?!
I think im going to be stuck in this limbo forever...!
@ Asif: Those independant women who are actually emotionally independant most even pretend to depend on their husband/ parents just to keep peace...i know enough truly independant women to know that the condition does exist...its just about getting there...
Unfortunately life isnt as simple as saying that its mine and therefore I get to control it...there are so many further nuances to it!
Because now if I try to tell them that I'm financially independant and can take care of myself hence take my own decisions - I've apparantly been spoilt by the money! *sigh* it never ends...!!
g..u..i..l..t
the biggest bitch of all..makes everything all too complicated..
one cant be made to feel guilty for being Independent !!!!!!
yep it does...and the reason it does is because it works...because sometimes emotions are much much stronger than the rational mind...
one darling can be made to feel guilty for anything under the sun...!
Post a Comment